Less than a month ago, when our first foster baby was six and a half months old, he transitioned into his pre-adoptive family home. It was a whirlwind week. Timing is everything and of course the Lord knew our plans before we did and that was a huge blessing. We had planned to go camping with two other families the first weekend of June and the foster baby had been introduced to his new family a week prior. We all agreed that as many day visits and an over night visit leading up to our camping week would then terminate in his transition placement the morning we left for camping. I was blessed with one week of preparation for goodbye and a great opportunity for a family distraction of camping.
It helped, a bit.
Coming back to the baby toys in every room, dirty laundry to still wash and fold but not be worn, baby swing in the living room, and bouncer chair in the kitchen was hard. Then, at the end of a long day, going into my bedroom and seeing the empty crib just hurt, badly. The only thing stopping me from crawling into the crib to cry is all the baby things I piled in it from the rest of the house.
Our first meeting with the family did not go smoothly as the baby cried the entire time. It was not his best side! The SW suggested the new family take him for a stroller walk around our block. What I loved and will cherish from that really painful day is the image of her kneeling in front of the stroller after the walk just watching him in stillness as he slept.
It was all for that very moment. A mother seeing a child as her very own.
As I am writing this, stopping to wipe the tears gushing from eyes yet again so I can see, I was reminded of my wedding song from sixteen years ago. As I listened to it tonight, I cried for different reasons:
"How Beautiful" by Twila Paris
And then as I was typing, this song came on my IHeart Radio:
"Temporary Home" by Carrie Underwood
How Beautiful are the hands and feet that serve... that offer sacrifice... willing to pay the price. How beautiful when humble hearts give... so that others may live... in this Temporary Home. And he whispers "Don't cry for me, I'll see you all someday"...and says "I can see God's face"
"See You Again" by Carrie Underwood
This is not where it ends... I will carry you with me... Said goodbye, turned around and you were gone, gone, gone